So today I was cleaning out my bookmarks on my computer (my own special version of spring cleaning) and came across a website I had not looked at for a long time; http://theshapeofamother.com/. I love this site, not only because it was so well designed, but because it is such a great representation of how different all of our bodies are. Some women come out of pregnancy and childbirth relatively unscathed, others have very saggy tummies and flat boobies, while still others work their asses off (kudos to inspirational T.C.) to return to hot mama status.
I remember being in full fledged mourning after Teddy was born because I had developed an apron of fat where my round but cute tummy had been before conception. Made worse by post partum depression from hell and a terrible time with breastfeeding, I felt like I had transformed overnight into a frumpy mother and I missed being cute and sexy. I was just getting my mojo back two years later when Jackson (who has never believe in barriers of ANY kind) snuck his way into our lives and I came out with a bunch of stretchmarks and DD breasts. Not sign of my cute round bootie in sight.
Four years later I am hitting some kind of equilibrium finally. Me and my body have been through a whole lot the last seven years and I would love to stop the cycle of self-criticism coupled with neglect. Can I be sexy? Is there time? I feel o-l-d. I see brands of jeans and clothing that I don't even recognize (apparently they are not carried at Target). I LIKE wearing yoga pants everyday. I LIKE granny panties better than wedgies. But I also like my husband very much, and I while he loves me how I am, I would love to see the fire back in his eyes once and a while.
The Madonna complex seems to have transformed itself into a whole housing development for me. Anyone have the gate code so I can get out of here?